I am so SORRY for the inconvenience (PB)

I have had a stupidly difficult time for the last few months trying to stabilize my body in a way so as that I do not raptor screech my way up to the high heavens, nor do I take a sharp kitchen knife and plunge it deep into the squishy folds of my stomach in order to combat the seemingly endless parade of worm wiggling that never ever lets up.  Ya see, I would rather not have another episode that would give me an excuse to abstractly refer to a subject matter that literally no one cares to hear about, besides Pepe over here, and she knows that I know that she knows I talk way too much about that and everything in my life anyways, and she knows that I know that she knows that I wish so desperately I could just shut my mouth. 

 

So I've been trying to keep my head screwed on straight and my calve muscles loose and my spaghetti just as noodley.  But those damn worms are having a frickin field day, it must be..... I don't know, Denver in '98, when the Broncos defeated the Packers to win the Super Bowl XXXII.  Yeah, those wormies are not happy.  Haha. 

 

But anyways, I'm not sure why I feel so strange.  There are so many possible factors for the jigglies. 

Lists.  Yay! 

1. Everyone is driving me nuts because it's the end of the year, (ever heard of spring fever?).  I'm starting to realize maybe it isn't a good idea to want to be friends with everyone.  Some people you just need to not hang with.  At all. 

2. The Human Centipede is a thing that was recently watched with my eyeballs. 

3. Baumbach is a thing that was recently watched with my eyeballs. 

4. There is so much sketchy sexual vibed out relationships between the students and teachers of BAHS.  This is not a reference to the number above, just so you know.  Observe, and you will understand. 

5. The PDA levels are off the charts.  Once again, observe. Hint: Swing by Digel's at the end of the day.  You'll know what I mean. 

6. Prom.  I mean, jeez, what's the big deal anyway?  I mean, really?  Ugh I don't even want to go.  I hate people who have fun.  Ugh.  Pizza > Prom 2k15.  Ugh.  Ugh.  Ugh.  Or this stuff, yeah.

 

            Lolz.

7. No one is hydrating enough.  Or getting any sleep.  Stop bragging about how ever since you were born, you have only drank Coke Vanilla, and go guzzle some H2O, baby.  Go to bed.  Just take care of yourself, jeez, didn't think I had to spell that out for you. 

8. Everyone is squishing 54954040% knowledge into my brain capacity super duper fast before finals. 

9. The salt levels are way to unbalanced at the moment. 

10. I haven't taken a shower and I miss certain children in my life. 

 

BONUS:  Swim practice, every night, two hours straight, plus dryland, plus I hate every single atom in the chemical formula to make chlorine water.  Extra bonus, my sister is playing her flute. 

 

On the bright side, I just went grocery shopping and I purchased so many beautiful items.  I am a proud hen mother. 

There is too much proof that bigfoot exists (PB)

"Invisible threads are the strongest ties." -Friedrich Nietzsche
 

 

One time I read this creepypasta story.  It was about this girl who woke up to one day to find that everything in her life was connected by strings.  Small, little, tiny, translucent strings binding everything from her cat to the books in her room to her friends.  Everyone was completely oblivious to her existence, ignoring her until she pulled the strings away from their body.  Then they woke up from a stupor, confused and disoriented.  She soon discovered that the world, and therefore her life had always been controlled by an unknown being.  Her thoughts were not hers.  Her actions were of another's.  Her life had been one carefully constructed lie, a game for someone else to play.  While she had been attached by those strings, she was a pawn to whatever was controlling her. 
 

Sometimes I feel like that story is true.  Like I have no control over my life and all of this is some bigger picture.  And that's scary.  To think that I'm being controlled with no choice but to do as instructed, never having free will, is absolutely terrifying.  There's so much proof to back the concept up, too.  Coincidences.  Miracles births.  Natural disasters.  Love at first sight.  All of those unexplainable moments that add up to one big question mark hanging ominously over your head at night.  Death.  Happening for no known reason, yet not one person truly and completely questions it.  We all just accept it and go along with those bonds by routine.  It's like when you were little and you still believed in the tooth fairy.  You would wonder, why is no one intrigued by this idea?  A fairy?  That sneaks into my room and steals my tooth and then gives me money?  How come mom doesn't think that's weird? 
 

Sure, there's those people that devote their whole lives to finding what the purpose of dreams are, or if love is an actual concept.  But doesn't it seem like we should be getting some answers by now?  Doesn't it seem as though they are trying just enough to be able to say they did?  So they could just give up, and stop looking?  Like they don't want to know the answers?  Like they are scared to find them out?